OR: Yeah, babe. It's is a love story.
What are you going to say when you're significant other asks you to take them to see 50 Shade of Grey this Valentine's Day? Better have a game plan. And maybe some chocolate, if you're an overachiever.
Here's our list of romantic movies that are ACME Approved.
1. Die Hard
What's Die Hard if it's not a romance, I ask? And you'd reply: a Christmas movie, an action movie, a how-to be a badass movie. And sure, those are true. But ultimately, it's a movie about a man trying to save his marriage. And that's what you'll tell your girlfriend when you pop it into the VCR this Valentine's.
2. Bonnie and Clyde
There's nothing more romantic than two star-crossed lovers who give up everything to be together. Bonnie and Clyde has got all that, plus about a million bullets flying around. Just ignore the erectile dysfunction sub-plot and it's the perfect romantic movie for both him and her.
3. Romancing the Stone
Of course she'll be on board for this one. Women inexplicably love Michael Douglas. Hell, it's even got "Romance" in the title! But there's enough flying lead, car crashing and crocodile wrestling in this middle-shelf Indiana Jones rip off to keep the guys interested.
This classic romance deserves another watch this Valentine's Day. And maybe this time you'll realize how much hard drinking, high rolling and Nazi smashing this movie packs in. It's ultimately a political thriller that got rebranded as a romance over the years.
5. Eyes Wide Shut
If your lady is dead set on 50 Shades of Gray, try suggesting this Stanley Kubrick "classic." It's got all the sexual deviance that 50 Shades promises, plus some actually stimulating content. Enter this fantasy world where Tom Cruise plays a victim of the illuminati.